Real talk: We are all insecure about something. I don’t know a single person who isn’t. Whether they think their nose is too big, teeth too crooked, thighs too thick, feet to clumsy- the list goes on and on. We tend to look at someone who we think is beautiful and has the perfect life and think there’s no way they could be insecure. But we all struggle, that’s the raw truth. We all have a story and I think it’s important to share it. Not so we can all play victim to these insecurities but for us to understand we all are human. No one is perfect. And from this truth, we can start lifting each other up! That’s the light at the end of this tunnel! We have the opportunity to empower and support each other on something we ALL struggle with. That’s why I am going to start the “Raw Truth” series. I will feature different women who inspire me to tell their story. To get raw and real. Cause even they deal with the internal struggle of living in a society that expects us to be perfect. So, let’s drop kick that insecurity and start telling our stories so we can take back that power our insecurities have taken away.
To start this series, I thought it would be best to tell my own raw truth. As I sit here and write, I’m flooded with those feelings and memories I try so hard to forget. Writing this is hard. Being vulnerable is even harder. I can hear it now, those mean girls laughing at the fact I’m writing a blog. This is where my mind goes when I allow it to feel this way. I feel that heaviness on my chest again like I’m that 15-year-old girl again. The happy and confident girl everyone sees me as today was most definitely not the case 10 years ago. I hated my body. I thought I was fat, my thighs too big, and that I wasn’t pretty enough to ever have a boy like me. That was the lie that stayed in my head for years. I envied girls with fast metabolisms and slim legs. I found myself always comparing myself to my friends. Jealous of the fact that they could walk in a pair of shorts and not have their thighs rub together. I felt less than. I felt like I was never good enough. On top of the lies I told myself, I also heard the mean things girls said about me that fed into those lies making them seem all the more real. These are actual quotes I have heard- “Your thighs are too big for anyone else to sit on this bench,” “I don’t understand why guys even like her, she’s not even that pretty,” “She’s so annoying,” “Look at all the weight Melissa’s gained,” “Your nose does this weird slope thing,” “I always thought you were fake,” “You’re only friends with us because you wouldn’t go away,” and that is just to name a few. These statements have stayed with me for all these years, not the positive things people might have said about me. Now I don’t say this to make you feel sorry for me or to play victim here. I say this because we have ALL heard this ugliness whether it’s coming from our own heads or out of someone’s mouth. I was insecure so I told myself those lies. Those people were insecure with themselves, so they told those lies about me. Key word here is “LIES,” meaning those statements didn’t come from truth or reality. When I finally started becoming more comfortable in my own skin, I started to realize a few things. People only gossip and talk bad about people for two reasons. 1. There is something the other person has that makes them jealous or 2. They are so insecure with themselves they outwardly spread that hate. That’s why I can type those mean comments. They don’t have any power anymore because I actually feel sadness for the person who said it. Because I can relate to them. They felt the same insecurity I was feeling too. I also learned to identify those lies and speak truth over them. I’m not saying those lies don’t creep in every now and then but I can disrupt that negative self-talk when it starts to happen. But the real thing that helped me was this:
My confidence is not in the way I look; my confidence is in the kind of person I am.
I am confident because I’m a good friend. I’m confident because I know how to make someone feel good about themselves. I am confident because I know that since I’m still on this earth, there’s a purpose God is having me fulfill. I’ve embraced the way I look. I’ve owned my body because its strong and it’s mine- no one else’s. I can say I am more confident now than I ever was in high school and I weigh 30 pounds more than I did back then. That’s how I can measure how far I’ve come. I don’t measure my worth in a number anymore. I’m passionate about this blog because I know what it feels like to hate yourself. But I also know how incredible it feels when you decide to love yourself. It doesn’t happen overnight but man oh man when it does, you want everyone to feel like it. My mission is to get women to not say “I want to look like her,” but to say “I want to FEEL like her.” I want you to feel happy, confident and comfortable in your skin. When we decide to love ourselves, then we can begin to empower those around us.
I’d love to hear your story! Your story has value and deserves to be heard. Either leave a comment or email firstname.lastname@example.org
You are beautiful,