2018… man there’s a tough crowd out there! Why do we look to others for gratification? Why do we let others make us not believe in ourselves? And good grief why do we morph ourselves into someone we are not for approval of others?? Why do we let others get comfortable hurting us… because they know we will never walk away!!
My name is Katie Blaylock and I’m guilty!! I played D1 college soccer, currently teach fitness classes everyday and own a corporate wellness business… got it all figured out right?! Not a chance.
When I was a sophomore at Appalachian State I struggled with anorexia and bulimia….why?? I started every game my freshman year and lived the college life to the fullest… why did I struggle??? I found myself addicted to exercise, scheduling my classes an hour apart so I could sneak off to the gym and then I would tell my friends “I already ate lunch… see ya in class” because I wasn’t “skinny” enough. My playing stat was 5”9 140lbs…. my off season weight was 113lbs. Holy skin and bones!! Where was my disconnect?? I had a blast my freshman year and if you were to ask any of my teammates or friends… I freakin lived it up!! But again… what did I see in that mirror?? Never did I ever struggle in high school… why now?? I had a boyfriend that loved me and would do anything for me…but I needed to be skinnier. Body dysmorphic is real thing. We see something that cannot be put into words to others. The homecoming queen has no “issues”. I did not want to admit I had a challenge in my life. I was always the girl who helped my friends… how could this be happening to me!?!? Do I need help?? How embarrassing…. I’m “fine” !!
What happened next?? My mom made me go see a therapist and I immediately rolled my eyes and threw a box of tissues at her face… she knew “nothing” and clearly I wasn’t ready to change!!
By the time preseason came around, my coach told me I was under weight and was not going to see much playing time. That was my childhood dream and I was letting my insecurities get in the way of my very own dream!! It was a slow healing process but sometimes time heals and thankfully prayers were answered!! To this very day, I think about it often and how proud I am of my friends and family who took a loving bold stand to help me heal.
God made me the way I am and he made YOU the way you are!! Why does society, friends, social media make us feel like we need to change every square inch of our beautiful bodies to look like someone else?!?! What a boring world that would be!!
So fast forward to this day…35 years old and looking at the world through my eyes. Skinny is a trend. Curves are a trend. Why can’t BE YOU be a trend?? We need to respect our selves!! Being a girl is a privilege!! I mean FREAKIN own yourself. There is only ONE of you… only ONE in this entire world… how incredible!! So, whomever “they” are that say you need bigger this smaller than…can kick rocks!!!
Your body is the most beautiful, mind blowing, capable of amazing things, greatest gift you will ever ever own… love it, embrace and know that God made a masterpiece when you were born!!