Heartbreak.

Heartbreak is a bitch you end up becoming mutual acquaintances with once you get to know it.

A little over a year ago, I would spend most mornings numbly staring at my popcorn ceiling until I had to peel myself out of bed for work. On the car ride home I’d blare My Chemical Romance to drown out the disorientating sobs as I slowly moved up Laurel Canyon in inch by inch traffic. I was heartbroken. I had felt like every plan I had written down in my mental planner had been harshly erased by the universe and I was left in utter shock that he would no longer be apart of it. Heartbreak is universal. We’ve all been heartbroken either by someone, something, or ourselves. But what I found intriguing was that when I went through the thick of my heartache, I felt alone. It almost felt as though no one could understand how devastating it felt, I was trapped in my own illusion of isolation. But the truth is that heartbreak is inevitable to those who want to give and receive love throughout their life. We are going to go through times when we decide to clutch the exciting reigns of vulnerability, not knowing where we might be swept off to. To truly love something means that there is a possibility that that love might be taken away but that doesn’t mean we should be scared to fall in love with as many things as possible. Heartbreak looks different for everyone, and how they heal. Whether you’re digging through the trenches all muddy and wondering when the war will be over or you’re back in the hospital bed recovering from your wounds- I hope you find comfort in the things I needed when I was at war with my own heartbreak.

  1. There will always be another one: I sat in the hotel lobby with my sister crying while holding onto a glass flute of champagne, not aware of the other people in the surrounding chairs. It had been 2 months since he ended things with me and I needed advice from my older sister. What she told me quite honestly pissed me off at first. She said “He might of been the one, but there will always be another one.” I remember darting her a look of pissed-off skepticism. There is only ONE “the one”! I thought to myself. It didn’t make sense to me at the time but as my heart has healed, I hold that quote as the best advice I received during that time. We get so caught up in what we think our lives should look like that we choose control over divine flow. I wanted him to be “the one” so bad that I was blinded by the fact that he really wasn’t. He was the one for me during that time of my life, but there will be another one that will come along if that one doesn’t work out. People are in your life for either a reason, season, or a lifetime. And if someone needs to leave, let them. Because there will ALWAYS be another one, and an even better one at that.
  2. What goes down, will always come back up again: As much as I despised Physics in school, this law has always stuck with me- for every action, there is a equal and opposite reaction. That means the lower you feel, the higher your come back will be. Say you dropped a ball down a well. The ball doesn’t hit the bottom and stay there, it comes back up. So as much as you might believe you’re staying in the cold, dark bottom of your heartbreak, you’ll bounce back. You have to believe you’ll bounce back. It makes it easier to have the mantra that “this too shall pass.” The bigger the fall, the greater the gift will be when you come back up. So remind yourself, the deeper this hurts, the deeper the love you’ll receive will be.
  3. Remain open to giving and receiving love: Whatever you do, don’t let this close your heart. We have the choice to either move through a challenge with grace or to resist the challenge and remain stuck. The Universal Law of Challenges is a real thing- we are going to face challenges in life, heartbreak being one of them, and it’s with our freewill that we get to decide how we want to move through it. I sat down with my broken heart and looked at it straight in the eyes and walked right into it. I made myself feel what I needed to feel with compassion and forgiveness. I allowed myself to heal in the way that was healthiest to me. I loved myself through the process which allowed me to remain open to love. I refused to let this cause me to close off my heart. As much as it hurt, I survived and actually thrived from it. I grew into a more loving, compassionate, understanding, and giving person. That love I so desperately wanted to give away, I decided to give back to myself. This allows me to now be open to loving people more fully in my life and to be whole hearted in my next relationship.

As I said before, heartbreak is a bitch you end up becoming mutual acquaintances with. You don’t like it at first, you might shove it down or push it away but once you’ve understood it, you can accept it for what it is. You’re not scared of it anymore, it doesn’t prevent you from diving back into love and vulnerability. I definitely wouldn’t invite heartbreak over for a beer but i’d understand and accept if it decided to drop by again. You always have the opportunity in life to receive love, remain grateful and you’ll amplify this. You’re not alone and I promise that one day it will all make sense. To see the big picture of all of it just amazes me how the universe weaves together our lives into beautiful seasons of redirection and abundance. My hope for you is that you share your heartbreak roadmap because you never know who needs to hear it while they are staring at the same mountain you had to conquer. Remain open to love, you are worthy of it.

Sending out love & healing,

Melissa

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